Daycare, Trust, & "John"

Seems my discussion of Daycare was interesting to lots of people. I will elaborate on daycare.

My main concern regarding daycare is not the fact that kids are always sick that go there or the fact that the children are not exclusively supervised(not really a problem for older kids) but the fact that I don’t know who is caring for my child. I find it very difficult to put my trust in a stranger( multiple childcare people at daycare centers).

Now I am sure there are those who say that the facility is highly reputable and has a stringent screening process, etc… I say that the people who say that are correct to a point. They have also not seen the things that I have while working as a Police Officer. I am sure that my Police friends will agree that the average person lives in their own little bubble of a world not aware of what goes on all around them. **Comments are welcome**

There is evil in the world and in people who you wouldn’t expect. Take for example a former friend of mine named John.

I grew up with a core group of friends that are still my friends today. One of them, John, always seemed to be a bit jealous of us and would constantly compare his looks, athletic prowess, etc.. with us. Now, we would all be outside playing sports in even the most inclement weather–are there any kids who actually play outside anymore??– and John would sometimes show up with a black eye or bruise of some kind. He always said that he got in a fight with one of his 3 older brothers (one which I had regular contact with when I was a Police Officer.) We thought nothing of it. We all grew up and still hung out as adults. John had a son of his own and seemed to be the model father, always involved in the kids’ activities. John was even at my current house for a party in 2001.
Well, John eventually got married to a woman that had a 3 and 6 year old daughter. He was married for 13 years when the oldest girl, 19 at that time, came out and reported that John had been molesting both girls since he had gotten married(a 3 and 6 year old girl?!?!?!) and continued till the time she reported it to the police. None of us could believe it. It came out during his trial that he had been getting molested by his brothers when he was little and that can explain those injuries…

He is serving 40 years in prison and will be out sometime around 80 yrs old…

I know that people like him are in the minority but I feel it is better to be safe than sorry. Child molesters, abusive and mean people have no business being with or near my child.

Here is an excellent resource you can use to see if any sex offenders live near you. I recommend trying it!

I will begin reminiscing about Emma’s early months soon. The wheels are turning here.

Previous Post

Worst part of being a Police officer

Next Post

New word, Guilt, Calling for Mama,Hurry she's sleeping!


    • Melissa (Missie)
    • January 18, 2008

    This is Emma’s mommy responding.

    This is a wonderful tool for Ken to express the daily pressures of being a stay at home parent. I have to say that not all dad’s get this opportunity and he sure embraces his time with Emma.

    The situation that Ken wrote about is tragic and we would all agree how sad this turned out for those kids. Especially from someone they trusted and loved.

    Therefore, here is my take on daycare, our situation and most of all our beautiful Emma.

    I truly believe that socialization at a certain age is good for our children. If we could not afford for one of us to stay home, we too would have Emma somewhere else. In fact, if Ken’s mom were in Illinois I truly believe that she would want Emma to be with her so that Ken could deal with his business during normal business hours and for him to be able to do the things he loves…like going to the health club. What he really enjoys and needs to do in order to stay healthy for our daughter. I hope I am not speaking out of terms. However, I know Loni would want Emma to spend time with her as all the grandkids did. She also was fortunate to be a stay at home mom herself when Ken and all his sisters were growing up. In addition, she was there for all her grand children except for Emma because they moved to Wisconsin. It is my belief that Ken would be open to having his mother watch Emma if she was here. The reality is that we are blessed to be in a situation where he can stay home and work over the weekends and in the evenings. His business is picking up and that has been a challenge to work around for us. Some part time day care may be the answer. We are researching it.

    In addition, the clown “McDonald’s Corp” is a great place to work. We have good insurance; I have a good paying job and all the benefits that come with that. In addition, we were established when Emma was born as older parents. I played my dues, worked very hard and have a high-level position in my department as a result. These are not handed out to everyone. When Ken decided to leave policing, we discussed that if possible one of us would stay home while our child was young; hence, where we are today with Emma. Later, we would have her enter into a school or under the direction of a caregiver part time. Again, not saying there is anything wrong with daycare. This is a personal choice each family makes. There is no one answer that fits all. It is based on what is right for each family and the availability of family member’s or the right person to help care for our little loved ones.

    Eventually, after Emma turns two we both agree that some “day care”, school or homecare by another would benefit Emma. In fact, we looked into having the same woman that watched our cousin Kerry while she was little. We opted not to go that route for now, but we are looking into Goddard school or something equivalent. Being with other adults and children to learn from is good for Emma. She will learn to share and it may excel her learning because other adults are teaching her new things that being at home she would not experience.

    We all want the best for our children. We all want to be there for those milestone moments. Unfortunately, not all of us are there all the time. Nevertheless, this blog will allow me time to read more about Emma’s days. Sure Ken and I discuss what happens during their day together when I am not with her but this is a good record of our daughter’s life. We split the week. He is with her Monday – Thursday. I am home Friday – Sunday. We work as a team and share in the workload around the house. We also invest in a house cleaning service and a lawn service so that we can spend more time with one another and Emma when we are home together.

    That is it for now. Keep the comments coming!

    • Kathy
    • January 20, 2008

    This reminds me of when Ken first told me about the sex offender website. I had never heard of it, and to my surprise found that a man living across the street from me had been arrested 3 times, and convicted on a 4th offense, for molesting boys. He (only)served 5 years in prison. I immediately told a friend of mine who lived right next door to him, and had 2 young boys. She was shocked as well and afterwards very careful about letting her boys outside, and was able to warn them to stay away from his house and never talk to him. So this is a great tool to use, and I also recommend checking it often.

    Probably the worse part of this story though is that this man was married and had a daughter (which is another weird thing-if my husband had been arrested for that, I would have been long gone). I found out later that both the wife and daughter were working at the local park district daycare. I called just to see if they knew that their husband/father was a convicted molester, but they were not concerned. I guess legally, that does not matter since they were not the ones doing the molesting. Later, I observed some young girl dropping off her young boy at their house. It turns out these women were meeting people at the daycare and using that to get opportunities to babysit in their home on weekends and evenings. I’m not sure how many or how often they were babysitting in their home before I noticed.

    I let the police know-because they should not have been allowed to have children in the house with a convicted molester. But the scary thing is, if I hadn’t known they could have continued to bring children over to their house. So people really need to be aware of who they are entrusting their children to. Who would think that a woman would stay married to a convicted molester, and then bring children into their home?

    This prompted me to do a report on molesters for school. The most important thing I learned from that is that they NEVER stop, unless they are locked up. And as much as possible, as everyone knows, they try to get involved in any area to do with children.

    In my opinion, I would rather keep my children (when they were small)away from any possibility of danger until they are old enough to understand, and able to communicate to me if something bad did happen.

    It only takes one incident to scar a child for life. Why take a chance.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *