Emma has been brushing her teeth by herself for quite a while now. It started out with her just eating the toothpaste because it tastes so good. It has evolved to where she really scrubs the bottom teeth–hasn’t perfected the top teeth yet. She has been encouraged by me stating that she needs to “get the germs off her teeth.” It seems that even though she doesn’t really know what germs are and hasn’t seen them she doesn’t want them on her. This works for her letting us wash her face and hands too. During the last month or so–after observing her cousins Chrissy & Megan– she has been standing on a stool by the sink so she can brush her teeth and wash her hands like a big girl. She likes to put the toothbrushes–she uses 2 at a time–into the water and then back in her mouth. We have to assist her with the top teeth which she sometimes doesn’t want us to do–she says that she wants to “do it by myself.” Recently she has liked when we brush the top at the same time as she brushes the bottom–can be challenging at times….
I have held back from personal criticism on here primarily to keep the peace. This will change a bit right here and now. I will, however, refrain from naming anyone by name out of respect.
Something seemingly minor occurred recently that has rubbed me the wrong way. Now, all parties–almost all– probably have no idea whatsoever that anything “wrong” happened. And this is my point….The fact that something so obvious to me–and I am sure Emma too although she can’t express it yet–and yet not at all obvious to others is unnerving. I will elaborate a bit. Someone was supposed to come over to visit us on Sunday. We received a call on Saturday at around 5 and were informed that–if it was OK– it would be moved up to Saturday evening right after the phone call. Well, we had a visit shortly thereafter. Emma was very excited, not to receive a present but to see someone she loves. Not going into all the details but Emma wanted attention, actually demanding it by pulling hands and saying to “come here” etc… I got the impression that attention was something that was a chore and not coming from the heart and genuine. I got the impression that just because a gift was given and that a visit was made–extremely short by the way– that this should be enough. Well, I am here to say that I know that Emma could care less about the present. She wanted to play and to have some fun. But no, the visit had to be cut very short, almost like “did it really even happen?” Emma, as were we, was baffled when told that the visit was ending. She was confused and letdown. She didn’t know what to say, as we didn’t know how to explain to her what happened. Now, as for me, I don’t care about myself being let down but when I see disappointment in Emma’s face I feel like the visit shouldn’t even happen if it is going to be so short. Why get a kid excited only to say, well gotta go now! I know the intent to hurt Emma in any way was not there. But the knowledge that Emma wanted the visit to last longer and be more involved clearly should have been crystal clear.
This is not the first time this has happened and other people have also been guilty in similar incidents. Seems to me that people are too wrapped up in their own stuff and in too much of a hurry that they either can’t see that they let Emma down or don’t care. To me, even if I don’t feel like it, I think a child should feel like I am giving them my full attention, even if I may not be. I have been diligent in doing so as I think that kids who feel valued and loved are much happier. Heck, I do this with other people’s kids as well. Some people may feel like they are spoiled but that’s too bad for them!
Well, this is my favorite time of year! The air has that autumn smell and the leaves are turning colors and falling from the trees. It is also Halloween time. I love decorating for the holidays and the fact that Emma gets such a rush out of it makes it that much more satisfying. She gets a kick out of the inflatable decor as well as all the lights. She likes to say, “OOOOOhhhhhh nice!” as she runs from lights to lights. She likes “The Witch” and the light up eyes in the bushes. Today she saw the webbing I put on the bushes and she said, “OOOOOhhhhhh Spiderwebs!” Too Funny!! I raked up some leaves and, as last year, Emma ran through them. The difference between last year and this year is that she tells me to run through them after she does. She then says, “OK, my turn” and we take turns. Amazing how the little things mean so much to kids. I remember this being true for me and insist that Emma gets the little things that really matter.